Survivors stand against sexual abuse in NYC's Orthodox community

• Published date: 18 April 2024
• Author: ELI MANDELBAUM
• Publication title: Jerusalem Post, The: Web Edition Articles (Israel)

Dozens of men and women from the Orthodox Jewish community laced up their running shoes and joined #RunforAmudim's nine teams, which ran alongside 20,000 runners from 50 states and 80 countries in the Miami Marathon on January 28

Rachel Daar Cohen is a special education teacher who moonlights as an author and is passionate about using her life experiences to initiate positive change in the Jewish Orthodox community to which she belongs. Through poetry, essays, articles, and blog posts, she works to shed light on difficult topics and help others feel less alone.

When she was six years old, Rachel was sexually abused regularly by an unrelated adult in her life who plied her with flowers, chocolates, and gifts, and then shattered the bubble of her innocence. During those moments of abuse, she realized that her survival was contingent on detaching entirely from her emotions.

"The more abuse I endured, the less connected I became to my thoughts and feelings. Months of abuse contradicted everything I had learned up until that point – that the world was, for the most part, a sunny, safe place to be. I began feeling bewildered and lost; nothing made sense. While my friends were together playing 'house' and 'school,' I was scribbling the words 'I feel blue' and crying myself to sleep. The effort it took to keep my unfathomable secret hidden began to take a toll on my body. Every time I looked in the mirror, I could swear I was slowly disintegrating from the fear and shame that were weighing me down. I desperately wanted to confide in someone, to let them know that I was falling apart. But I couldn't. I was terrified that no one would love me anymore, that they would think I was evil. So I continued to be the 'good girl' everyone expected me to be, never considering the fact that doing so would destroy me…"

The trauma persisted, a monster rearing its ugly head throughout her life until close to two decades later when Rachel finally found the inner strength to reach out for help. She contacted Amudim, a confidential resource center within the Orthodox Jewish community that combats crisis by raising public awareness, implementing community-wide educational programs, and providing meaningful assistance, support, and direct referrals to individuals, families, and communities impacted by sexual and substance abuse and mental illness.

"Amudim saved my life," Rachel expresses gratefully. "For most of my life, I thought I had to endure this burden alone. Healing began when...