Former haredim: Why do some drop out to join the modern world?

• Author: WALTER BINGHAM
• Published date: 27 September 2021
• Publication title: Jerusalem Post, The: Web Edition Articles (Israel)

At the same time, their traditional efforts to protect haredi youth from the pervasive influences of the secular world have become more and more difficult. The convenience of using mobile telephones can no longer be averted and preventing Internet access, by only allowing specially adapted so-called "kosher" phones can easily be circumvented by young teenagers with access to money. There is a surplus of good secondhand phones available at very cheap cost. It is impossible to avoid sexually implicit advertising posters assaulting everyone on every street corner, all to the detriment of sheltering the ultra-Orthodox lifestyle

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When one hears the word "haredi," one thinks immediately of black-dressed bearded men, or somberly clothed women with their hair covered, pushing a baby chair with several children in tow, each sprouting sidelocks of varying length. That's a sight common in Stamford Hill, London; Williamsburg, New York, or several districts in Jerusalem, among other places in the world.

The ultra-Orthodox lifestyle necessitates ghetto-like communities for several reasons. The very strict observance of Torah law requires services that need to be within proximity of their homes. Apart from synagogues that conduct the services according to the ritual prescribed by their spiritual leader or Rebbe, there is the necessity of the ritual bath house the mikve, to enable a halachic requirement mainly for women, though men also regularly use it.

To lead an ultra-Orthodox lifestyle within an environment that is exposed to influence from the outside world, such as for instance, the Internet and publicly displayed advertisements needs strict discipline to resist. Firm control is exercised by education from a very early age and an extremely sheltered milieu.

However, it is the nature of youth to rebel against the establishment, both political and social. In haredi circles, this tendency is prevented from developing by the exercise of a strict religious routine, that leaves little time, indeed opportunity to think of matters non-spiritual.

It is not surprising therefore, that a not inconsiderable number of haredi young people, particularly those with an inquiring mind begin to ask questions about the value of living a life that restricts what they consider to be the opportunities that the wider world offers. Ever more have left their family homes to discard the restrictions that haredi life imposes.

Such sudden change from a sheltered environment to the world outside, being totally unprepared following what is often an emotional rather than rational decision can cause serious shock and problems.

To assist in the transformation and continuing support of drop-outs from their haredi families, there exist several organizations founded by people who have themselves left the haredi lifestyle.

One of these, "Out for Change," aims to help former haredi youth to integrate into secular society. Its "non-drop-out" administrator is Debbie Perla, who explained the organization's mission: "Most of the people who come to us have almost no English, and very basic math skills, because this is not a part of ultra-Orthodox education. Their secular studies stopped at third grade level. We only accept people over the age of 18, no minors, nor do we convince anybody to leave the ultra-orthodox community. In the case of men, they mostly come from yeshivot, Jewish scripture learning establishments.

"Men and women leave...