'If Not I' - we are responsible for ourselves

Published date29 April 2022
It's On Me

It is convenient for us to believe that our success hinges on forces and conditions beyond our control. One might get such an impression from the Gemara which asserts that "everything is in the hands of heaven, except for fear of heaven." The Rambam dispels this mistaken impression by explaining that our personal growth is part of the Yirat Shamayim category, which is in our hands. Though Hashem sets the circumstances in the world around us, how we respond and develop ourselves is up to us.

Though other people can help us, our growth does not depend on them. The Seforno sees this as the message of the pasuk which describes Torah and teshuva as "not above you or beyond your reach." The Seforno explains the pasuk to mean that we do not need neviim (above us) or wise men in faraway lands (beyond us) in order to grow. Even though both offer important guidance, we have all that we really need within ourselves and our own reach; growth is in our hands, and we cannot offload it to anyone else.

The support we receive from others is also limited to the time we spend with them. Rabbeinu Yonah reminds us that making good decisions and consistent, continuous (even when we are alone) growth hinges on what we internalize, not on who our friends and neighbors are. We must take full responsibility for ourselves.

Ultimately, no one else will take responsibility for us in our place. We learn this idea from Elazar Ben Durdaya. After deciding to do teshuva from his initial sinful lifestyle, he asked the mountains and hills, the sky and earth, and the sun, moon and stars to help him. After they responded that they needed to focus on themselves, he realized that "ain hadavar talui ella bi — he had only himself to rely upon."

After he cried himself to death while curled up in repentance in the fetal position, a bat kol announced that Rebbe Elazar...

To continue reading

Request your trial

VLEX uses login cookies to provide you with a better browsing experience. If you click on 'Accept' or continue browsing this site we consider that you accept our cookie policy. ACCEPT